


Snowbug Fight!

by Spiderface



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, slolstice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiderface/pseuds/Spiderface
Summary: Jacob Haynes comes across a curious argument between two buggy Flowers players. Written for the Boston Flowers Winter Slolstice community event.
Kudos: 6





	Snowbug Fight!

If Jacob Haynes had to describe the day he’d been having, he would say that it was about average. He’d performed his average in practice, and now his average pair of boots crunched through the average expected Boston snowfall that blanketed the streets. But as Jacob’s average walk route approached one of Boston’s many, many public parks, something very not-average waited for him there.

It started as a sound- loud, aggressive buzzing in two distinct voices, each growing louder and angrier with every exchange. As Jacob rounded the block, he found the likely source. Hiroto Cerna and Inez Owens, having a hell of an argument about who-knows-what. Jacob didn’t know too much about the fellas (they were both a little too un-average for his understanding) but he did know that the two of them were close pals. What could have provoked such a quarrel between friends, he wondered? Curious, he dusted the snow off a park bench, sitting down to watch.

Suddenly, the loud yelling changed to a low, quiet hum, the, uh, “face” of the ski suit full of bees leaning in close to the moth. The two of them nodded and bent down, snow taking shape between their hands. Ah, Jacob realized. It would be a duel that settled their differences. Once they were both happy with their opening snowball, the two bugs stood back-to-back, and took paces forward in synch. One. Two. Three. As soon as feet hit the ground on pace ten, they both turned and threw. And so the snowball fight began.

The duel looked like what you’d expect from two professional athletes. Both players zipped across the park with intent and grace, dodging, throwing, and rearming with heightened efficiency. Shots went out fast and furious, but few were misses- rather, the bugs dodged with mind-bending feats of agility, leaping, flying and rolling out of range while still keeping up the offensive. Hits felt monumental, each splatter of snow against jacket being expertly earned. It was a display of athletic prowess that made Jacob yearn for the siesta to be over.

But as the fight went on, Cerna started to show a clear advantage. Not only was ze one of the Flower’s star players, ze had four arms to the two of Owen’s ski suit, and zir large, powerful wings let zir dash back and forth at dizzying speeds. Realizing this advantage, Hiroto doubled down on the aggression, pelting Inez with more powder than they could keep up with.

And so, Owens shed their burdens, blaseball cap, ski suit and gloves all falling to the ground as hundreds of bees swarmed freely through the air. Suddenly, the tables had turned on Cerna. Whenever ze readied a shot, the bees would simply disperse in every direction, while squads of Inez flung tiny volleys of snow at zir from behind. It looked like Hiroto was scrambling. Was this it for the moth? Jacob was on the edge of his seat.

But then Cerna switched tactics too, though for the life of him Jacob couldn’t figure out zir plan. Instead of trying to land shots, ze simply darted around the park, staying mobile, while occasionally grabbing fistfuls of snow to add to an ever growing single ball. But wouldn’t a giant snowball just be easier for the swarm to dodge, thought Jacob? It wasn’t until the last minute that he realized what Hiroto was doing.

Once the snowball had grown so big that ze could hardly carry it in one pair of zir arms, Cerna spun around and flung the massive lump of white into the air. For a moment, everyone froze as they watched it rise into the sky. As soon as it started falling, Hiroto flung zirself under it, and started vibrating zir wings as fast as they would go. When snowball struck wings, it shredded, exploding outwards like a snowy supernova. Each piece of Owens, bereft of the protection of their winterwear, was struck by the expanding sphere of powder, and hundreds of snow-covered bees fell to the ground at once. Cerna, panting heavily, slowly stood up, and surveyed the empty battlefield. Triumphantly, ze planted zir hands on zir hips.

And then the ground started to move.

Slowly, monumentally, a massive orb of snow rose up from the floor, easily ten times the size of what Hiroto had made. Around it, swarming in perfect formation like an insectile dyson sphere, was Inez. Cerna merely looked up in wonder as the glistening white ball positioned itself above zir. With a fate-accepting nod, Hiroto was completely buried in snow.

A few moments later, an arm stuck itself out of the pile, tapping the ground twice in surrender. Inez swarmed back into their outerwear, regaining some semblance of a humanoid shape and walking over to help pull Hiroto from snow. With a buzzy laugh, the two shook hands, friends once more. Jacob felt his heart warm.

But wait, this was odd- as soon as the handshake ended, both players again leaned down to form snowballs anew. Was that only the first round? Was there some other dispute that needed to be settled?

It wasn’t until they both turned to him and started aiming their shots that Jacob realized his day might not end up being as average as he thought.


End file.
